Dib's Adventures in Wonderland
by zombie hipster
Summary: Based off of Alice's Adventure in WonderlandDib lands in Wonderland. There's White Rabbit Zim, Gaz the Duchess, Tak the Queen, Mad Hatter Zim, and a Cheshire 'Kate' who just won't leave him alone. Dib's doomed.
1. Down Zim's RabbitHole

I recently finished reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. I also became an Invader Zim obsesser recently and decided since I love both, to create a 'Dib's Adventures in Wonderland.'

Now, I have also recently, began reading Dib in Wonderland. And before I continue: gets down on knees and puts hands up in a begging state Spectra-original author of this idea-I am not in any way trying to copyright your work. I just wanted to do my own version. However, parts may be the same as yours. Everything like that is copyrighted to you.

Everything else is copyrighted to their proper owners.

Nothing else to say, so on with the show!

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Chapter one: Down Zim's Rabbit-Hole.

"I will figure out a way, Zim. I will!" shouted a boy up in a tree. The tree and himself were both stationed in a park filled with happy-go-luckies. He kept talking to himself in a strange manner about his plans to destroy and capture the alien, Zim.

Dib peered through a pair of binoculars at a little green boy with a weird looking dog. The dog ran around him in circles as he stayed still in thought. The boy hadn't moved for almost five minutes, thus making Dib very tried. He had been waiting for such a long time for something to happen.

Zim still had not steered, though Gir ran into a tree and then got up and ran around Zim again. Zim's eyes followed him whenever the 'dog' crossed his front. He was deep in thought about his plans to destroy the world.

Dib yawned and put his hand on his cheek. "Do something!" he murmured. He put his head on the tree branch he was laying on and yawned further. He felt his binoculars hang closely around his neck as he let them go.

Dib put his arms under his head and closed his eyes, falling asleep.

"NO!" Dib shouted, waking up with a start. He put the pair of binoculars to his face. He looked everywhere and anywhere, but did not see Zim or his 'dog' of sorts. "Dang it!" he said, sitting up angrily. He was mad at himself for falling asleep and silently scolded himself when he saw a small white figure cross below.

Dib jumped down as the white flash stopped alittle bit ahead. It was Zim, wearing a red jacket-vest over a white undershirt. Two white bunny ears coming from a white hood-like feature and a pink nose were also attached. Zim was peering at a little gold pocket watch impatiently.

"I'm late. I'm very, very late," Zim said, putting the watch back in a pocket in his vest and he began to hop off. Dib chased after him and shouted, "Zim! Come back!"

Zim did not seem to hear as he kept going. "Zim!"

"I am not Zim!" snapped Zim, turning around. "I am the White Rabbit! I am not this Zim you speak of."

"Ha-ha, very funny, Zim!" Dib said. "And why are you dressed like a-a bunny-rabbit?"

"It's called rabbit, human! Now be gone! I have a match to make!" And with this said, Zim hoped into a bush. Dib stared after him, and, without second thought, ran in after him.

Once inside the bush, Dib began to think how stupid it had been to walk in after Zim. "This could be a trap of some sort," he said to himself. "I wonder if-AHH!" Dib let, screaming as his path turned down into blackness. He rushed downwards as the air rushed by.

Dib squeezed his eyes shut as he went downwards, awaking his last breath.

Strangely, he kept going down and down. He didn't feel his bones back, thus causing him to risk seeing the ground hit him.

Dib could not see the ground and thought about this. "I should've hit something by now," he said, looking at the wall as cupboards and tea dishes floated by. Dib grabbed a book from a shelf on a passing bookcase and stared curiously at it, "How to stay Insane." He dropped the book, which wasn't really a drop but more of throw since it went into the air.

Suddenly, Dib was falling faster than before and reached the floor before he saw it. He groaned as he stood up painfully. Dib rubbed his back and saw a flash of red and white zoom down a hallway.

"Zim!"


	2. Dib's Pool of Tears

Chapter two: Pool of Dib's Tears

Dib ran after Zim in a hurry to a wide room. Zim was nowhere in sight and Dib was furious. He soon grew calm again when he saw a large red curtain across from him. Dib walked over and pulled it to a side, reveling a very tiny door. Dib kneeled down and sighed.

He was too large to fit through it.

He did spot a very small keyhole and spotted a key on a glass table behide himself.

Dib walked over to it and examined the practically small key. Dib walked over to the door and put the key in the hole. It fit perfectly and the small door opened, revealing a beautiful garden.

Dib sighed as he again remembered he couldn't fit through it. So he turned around to put the key back on the table and saw a bottle with a small label on it. Dib picked it up, and read: "Drink Me!"

"Drink me, drink me," Dib repeated to himself. "Oh well!" And Dib took a short sip from the small bottle.

"Delicious!" he shouted, taking a longer sip.

Dib licked his lips as he placed the bottle on the table again and noticed the table had grown.

A lot!

As a matter of fact, the whole room had began to grow taller.

"Hold on!" Dib said. "I'm growing smaller!"

Dib looked at the door and ran to it. He tried opening it, and shouted when it didn't move. He remembered the key and ran to the table, which towered over him.

Dib's eyelid twitched.

"Why me?" he groaned as he peered at the key through the table.

He sighed and sat down on a box.

Seconds later, Dib remembered he had sat down on a box and looked down at it. He opened its lid and saw a small cake that said, "Eat Me!" "This must make me bigger," he said, taking a bite out of it.

And suddenly Dib was growing.

Dib's head hit the ceiling and he sighed. He had grown too much.

He reached down, picked up the key from the tabletop, and felt sad.

His eyes grew teary and he cried.

He finally snapped out of it when he saw a small figure walk by.

Zim!

"Zim!" Dib said. Zim looked up at him and said angrily, "Once again, human filth! I am the White Rabbit, not this filthy Zim you speak of!" Zim dodged a teardrop and sighed, hoping off. "Wait, Zim!" Dib shouted, but Zim kept hopping off.

"White Rabbit!"

Zim turned around and peered over his shoulder.

"Help me get down to size!" Dib begged.

Zim laughed and pointed at the "Drink Me!" bottle, then hopped off, leaving Dib to himself yet again.

Dib reached down, noticed there was still some of the drink left, and drank the rest down. Soon enough, he was the same size he had been only early and able to go through the door with the key. He walked through small pools of his own tears and put the key in the lock.

But before he could turn it, though, a river of tears caught him up. Dib shouted madly and splashed as it sent him far off from the door he so wanted to enter.

Before he knew it, he was back on ground. He coughed up large amounts of water and shook himself off much as a dog does.

Close by he heard a pair of foot. Dib saw a small mouse about his size. "Hey!" he shouted, not even surprised he was shouting at a mouse. Nevertheless, it looked back and ran off into what looked like a forest. Dib ran after it, in hopes of the rodent taking him to the beautiful garden.


	3. Pig and Pizza

Someone asked in a review if there was gonna be any parings. My answer is-even if it is suggested sightly in this chapter and futhor ones-NO, though there is a slight thought of one in chapter four. There are no pairings in this story, unlike my others. Really thought I should answer that.

* * *

Chapter three: Pig and Pizza

Dib soon lost track of the mouse as he walked and found himself walking aimlessly through the woods, which seemed to get smaller every step he took.

He soon realized he was getting bigger and was soon his average size. He was also out of the forest and smiled happily, as he saw a manor far off. He raced after it and saw a very peculiar sight.

A fish-headed alien took a large letter from a frog-headed one, who said in a very proper British voice, "For the Duchess, from the Queen."

The Fish alien said back, "From the Queen, for the Duchess," and nodded. The Frog alien left with a nod and the fish alien sat on the doorstep with the letter.

Dib walked over and stared at him.

He then walked over to the door and knocked loudly. There were some smashing sounds and a whole lot a yelling.

"No use," said the Fish alien sadly. "Too much noise."

"Well, then can you let me in?"

"Well, if I were on the inside and you knocked, then I could kindly open the door and let you in."

Dib looked at the creature and said, "Well, then how am I to get in?"

"If you were on the inside, I could let you out."

Dib sighed as the Fish alien went on about random nonsense and Dib opened the door. A plate flew at him and he ducked. It hit the back of the alien's head and it gave him the letter. "Give this to the Duchess; I suppose I won't be able to give it to her for a while."

Dib raced in and ducked again as a plate shattered on the closing door and a yell was heard. He walked into a kitchen, where he saw pepper flying around the air and…

"Gaz?" Dib said as his little sister raced by with a small baby. Gaz stopped and said in a voice much like her servants', "I am not Gaz! I am the Duchess!"

Dib sighed as she ran by again, the baby sneezing. So many odd things had happened so far this day that Dib wasn't gonna complain.

Instead, he looked up and saw a fairly large cat with white and pink stripes. It smiled widely down at him as it flicked it's tail from side to side. "Uh...Duchess," Dib said. "Yes?" Gaz said, walking to him and bouncing the sneezing baby up and down. "Why is your cat smiling?"

"Why! It's a Cheshire Cat!" Gaz exclaimed.

"A what?"

Gaz hit the back of Dib's head and said, "You should know, it's all so obvious." Gaz turned to a cook. "More pepper on my pizza! The piggy will be most displeased if he does not get his pizza by this afternoon!" The cook looked frightened and threw pepper randomly into the air, causing Dib to sneeze.

Gaz took the letter from Dib's hands and threw the baby to him. He barely caught the ugly thing as she tore the letter open. Gaz then said, "Oh, look! I've been invited to play croquet with the Queen of Hearts herself!"

The cook said, "Oh, happy day!" and threw more pepper into the air.

Dib hurried out as Gaz began throwing plates around again. He passed the Fish alien, who was still muttering and headed off into the forest.

Dib thought about the baby in his arms.

_I probably save it from death! I'm a hero! _he thought happily.

It wasn't until a little ways into the forest that the baby's cries sounded more animal-like then human. Thus, Dib looked down and dropped it in shock.

The baby had become a pig!

Dib watched it run off and heard a purr.

He looked up at a sign and saw the Cheshire Cat. For no reason at all, Dib said to it, "So, you're the Cheshire Cat, huh?"

Dib hadn't wanted an answer back, thus meaning he didn't expecting an answer, thus causing him to yelp when the Cheshire Cat replied, "It's pronounced Cheshire Kate, thank you very much."

Before Dib could answer, the Cheshire 'Kate' jumped down from its perch on the sign and landed on the ground. It gracefully turned into a tall girl with a flicking tail and cat ears. She looked about sixteen, five or six years older than Dib. She walked over and kneeled to his eye level. Tapping his nose with her middle claw, she said, "Hello. Who may you be?"

Dib sighed as she purred. "Dib," he said softly as she walked around him with her hands behide her striped back. Her tail ran over his neck and she said, "Looks like we have our self a human."

"Well, Dib," Cheshire Kate said, "Where do ya wanna go?"

"Huh?" Dib said, snapping back into reality.

Cheshire Kate pointed to the left. "That way to the March Hare's house. But I wouldn't recommend going that a way. He's not so sane during this time of year.

"And that way," she said, pointing in other direction, "is to the Mad Hatter's tea party. If you go that way, I'll come with you."

Dib nodded as the Cheshire Kate stood up and began walking with him to the Mad Hatter's tea party.


	4. Hatter Zim's Tea Party

Chapter four: Mad Hatter's Zim Tea Party

"Katty!" said a voice as Dib and the Cheshire Kate got near the Mad Hatter's house. Dib stopped dead as he saw Zim…again.

It was a taller, older version of Zim, though, about sixteen in Earth years, and he was wearing a crazy top hat, red and black plaid clothing and held about four piercings. Cheshire Kate and this older Zim hugged and sat in seats at the tea party. Dib took a seat out the table and heard someone say, "Shouldn't you ask first before sitting?"

Dib looked down the table and saw Dwinky, in an outfit much like Zim's yet the bunny ears were brownish. Dib blinked as Dwinky raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?" Dib asked loudly. Before Dwinky replied, the Mad Hatter Zim said, "How is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Huh?" Dib asked.

"Come on, do guess!" Cheshire Kate replied.

"I don't know. How?" Dib asked. "Well, how the Irk should I know?" Hatter Zim said, taking a sip from his teacup. Dib glared lightly at him as Cheshire Kate stood up, her whiskers twitching.

"Happy unbirthday!" she said to Dib. Hatter Zim stood up as well, and they both toasted to him. "But it's not my birthday," Dib said. "All the more reason to say _un_birthday, stupid human!" Zim said back. "Hey!" Dib replied, but Hatter Zim began to talk about a concert. "And the Queen wanted to behead me for it, pathetic worm!" he said. Cheshire Kate nodded and kissed him on the cheek.

Dib felt disgusted by this and stood to leave.

Dwinky shoved him back down in his seat and said, "You can't leave just yet, the Dormouse hasn't woke up yet."

"Well, then wake him up so I can get the heck outta here!" Dib hissed.

"Purr-fectly unacceptable!" Cheshire Kate snapped back. "Tell us a story, to pass the time, what's-your-face!" Hatter Zim said. The three at the table all leaned towards Dib, waiting for a story to be told.

Dib was silent and Hatter Zim walked over to him on top the table and put the teapot over his empty cup.

"Would you like some more tea?"

"But I haven't had any," Dib said back. "I can't take more if there's nothing to begin with."

"You mean you can't take less." Hatter Zim replied, giving a very smart-aleck look. Dib felt confused as Hatter Zim poured tea out. It dripped down to his teacup and then zoomed right back into the air.

Hatter Zim took a seat and Cheshire Kate disappeared under the table. Dib stared at her empty spot as Hatter Zim and Dwinky sipped their tea.

There was a very loud crash from below and Hatter Zim disappeared below as well.

"Give it!" Cheshire Kate shouted as they both strangely appeared on top of the table. Hatter Zim was holding what looked like his robot dressed up as a dormouse. "Wake up, Dory!" Hatter Zim said and Gir woke up with a yawn. "Tell us a story!"

Cheshire Kate nodded as Hatter Zim held him by his tail in the air.

Gir began,

"Once upon a time there were three piggies named Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie. They lived at the bottom of a well-!"

"A what?" Dib interrupted, but Dwinky and Hatter Zim hushed him. Gir went on, "They ate cupcakes all day long!"

As Gir yawned and began to go back to sleep, the others pestered him to continue his pointless story. Dib stood up when he did and walked away.

"'Why so glum',

Asks the cat, to poor little Dib.

'Well,' said Dib to the cat, 'My whole life is just a fib.'

'Then why speak of such disgrace?' asks the cat once more.

'Well," said Dib, to the cat, 'My life is like a handsome boar.

No one's sane and no one's mad.

While they act so sad.

And the other's are all gone

At the break of dawn.'

Cat was unhappy, as he spoke

For little did she know

The woods around, made of oak

Slowly turned to bows."

"Shut up!" Dib said, holding his head that now hurt from the poem. Cheshire Kate went on:

"The bow's all turned to Dib and cat

Even to the Hatter, mad as his hat

'Bye-bye, boy," said the cat once more.

'I guess you are so poor!'

Dib let out a little scream, heard throughout the land.

And he made one last move, as the arrows hit his hand."

"OK, I'm done," Cheshire Kate, purred. Dib glared up at her and said, "Your poetry sucks."

"Not as bad as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dum_ber_'s_!" _Cheshire Kate said, disappearing in her tree, starting at the tail and ending at the face, where her smile lasted for a few seconds after the rest.

Dib stared at it blankly as something brushed his nose, causing him to sneeze. Cheshire Kate let her tail fall onto the forest floor and placed her paw/hands on Dib's shoulder, gently rubbing them.

"That feels good," Dib said, closing his eyes.

"Purr," replied Cheshire Kate.

Suddenly, Cheshire Kate said in one breath almost, "I'm off to see Mad Hatter! Meet you at the Queen's match!"

And, just like, she had disappeared like before.

Dib opened one eye and glanced around, opening the other. He scratched his large head and said, "Well, that was weird.

"Queen's match?" he asked himself, standing perfectly still.

He heard an ear-splitting hiss from what sounded like a cat from the direction of Hatter Zim and Dwinky's tea party. He heard a "Let me go, Zim! That rabbit looks tasty!" and a "Katty, no rabbits till after the tea party!"

"I'm hungry!"

And Dib saw White Rabbit Zim run from the area of forest the pathway to them was at. He looked like he had just come out of a fight and was adjusting his ears. Dib saw him run by, looking at the watch again. "That Irk dang queen is gonna kill me for this!" Zim shouted.

Dib's mind went off and he chased after him.


	5. Painting the Roses Purple?

Chapter five:

Dib had lost Zim yet again and had stopped to look around himself.

He hadn't noticed but:

He was in the beautiful garden he had tried to get in earlier.

It was just a pretty as it had seemed through the incredible small door as it did now. Dib walked around in a circle and stopped to gaze at a white rose-bush. It was so pretty as well-!

A tall boy in what looked like a card costume walked over from behide and painted it purple. Dib watched as three other people also came out and painted away the whiteness.

Dib walked over and stared at them work. They were chatting about nonsense to each other, though it probably made perfect sense to them…

"The Queen wants to behead the Mad Hatter again," said the first boy. "What for this time?" asked another.

"'For being a stupid, ugly thingie with no ears.'"

"Is Whitey still alive or is he set for death as well?"

"'For being a white, bunny-rabbit midgit and for being late.'"

"What'cha doing?" Dib asked, and all three looked over. They all continued working and one said, "Painting the roses purple."

"Why?" Dib said.

"For we planted white roses instead of purple ones."

"The Queen's gonna take our heads for it."

"OURS?! Who planted the roses?" said the shortest of the guys with a thick British accent.

They all began arguing with each other and Dib heard an "Irk dangit."

Dib turned around as the three people fell to the ground, bowing to behide him. Dib saw a tall set of people with swords ending in heart-shaped points. They bowed to the side and let through another person.

Dib's jaw literally touched the ground.

"And who are you?" ordered Tak to Dib, pointing her own heart weapon at his neck. Dib looked down at it, then back up, and said, "I'm Dib, Tak. You know that."

"You dare address the Queen as TAK?!" she suddenly shouted angrily. Dib gulped, as she grew red in the face.

"My Royal Highness," said Zim, hopping out from behide the tall people with the swords. "I have made it on-!"

"You!" Tak said, pointing her pointer at his face. "You dare show your face around me-the Queen of Hearts-again?!"

Zim gulped and hopped backwards.

"Off with their head-! And what is this?" Tak said, shoving past Dib and Zim to the three men on the ground. One got up and said, "Somebody painted the roses white!"

Another said, "And we were trying to paint them back!"

"That white looks natural!" Tak said. "Are those white roses in my garden?! WHITE!"

_Man, _Dib thought: _Tak really has some angry issues to settle out. _

At that moment, Tak turned back to Dib and said, "Well, stranger, do you know how to play croquet?"

_Play WHAT?! _Dib thought as Tak snapped her fingers and everyone started off again. Dib decided the smart thing to do would to follow them: And follow them he did.

"You know the rules of the game," Tak said, holding a very still flamingo and hedgehog. For a second, Dib thought that they were fake until he was given his own set and they began moving around like heck.

After a long fight, he finally was ready. Dib had no clue how to play croquet, nor had he even heard of it.

_Must be British, _he thought and as he looked around the croquet ground, he added, _and stupid._

Everyone was hitting their hedgehogs at any moment they could with their tall flamingos. Even the Queen herself was looking much like a fool.

"Hey! Dib," said a voice from behide him, and Dib turned around to see the cat as a cat.

"Hi, Cheshire Kate," Dib said.  
"How's the game going along?" she asked.

Dib peeked over his shoulder. "I have no clue since I don't know a crap about the game."

"The Queen must be winning," Cheshire Kate said, and she made a vomiting sound.

Just so happened, Tak walked by and saw her complain.

"What is this?" she shouted, pointing her sword-thingie at Cheshire.

The King of Hearts raced over and said, "It looks like a cat."

"Off with its head!"

Everyone began whispering and murmuring to each other.

Dib sighed as the King said, "But there's no body to cut it from." For Cheshire Kate had made her body disappear. Tak turned red in the face and shouted random Irken into the air.

Dib raced off. He could still hear the angry girl shouting at the top of her lungs.


	6. Just in the Nick of Time

Chapter six:

Dib was going along great when someone grabbed his shoulder and walked next to him.

It was Gaz, holding a Game Slave in her hands and not taking her eyes off it. She still looked like the Duchess and Dib thought she still wished to be called that.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her.

Gaz mumbled something as she played a Game Slave. They walked silently for blocks until there was another scream from Tak. Gaz almost dropped her Game Slave as she ran off.

"Darn," said Cheshire Kate as she ran next to Dib, who was as well running. "I won't be able to take you to see Mock Purple and the Gryphon after all."

"I don't care!" Dib said as he heard more shouting.

The shouting was beginning to seem familiar and it seemed as if it was coming from all around him. Cheshire Kate smiled her Cheshire Cat smile at him as the background began to turn completely and utterly whitish-pink. Cheshire Kate seemed to be moving away from him as he felt something slid under his feet. He looked down and saw what looked to be a pink and white carpet. It was falling downwards and Dib let out a yelp as he went down with it as if on a giant slide.

All around him were the people of Wonderland. Hatter Zim sipped some tea, the White Rabbit Zim was checking his watch, even Queen Tak was floating around.

Before Dib knew it he was screaming and held his eyes closed as he went downwards and downwards…

He heard a "Dib-worm! Dib-worm?"

Dib yelped as he opened his eyes and looked around.

He was back in the park like before and seemed to have fallen out of the tree, as his huge head was hurting. Zim's 'dog' poked him with a stick as Zim grabbed his leash. He dragged it off and they soon disappeared into the night air.

"What a crazy dream," Dib said, standing up. He rubbed his head as he began to walk towards the front of the park. As he walked slowly, he thought he heard something.

It sounded like a "Dib…"

"It's all in my head," Dib said, beginning to walk off. If he had looked back, he would have heard a soft snicker and seen glowing eyes.

"It's all in my head."

The End


	7. Last Word of Madness

OR IS IT?


End file.
